i can't. i cannot already, i tell you.
being happy for my friends that are living all around the world.
it fucking sucks, it sucks everything out of me i can feel it leaving my soul through my teeth. "it" means my confidence, my pride and my ego. FAAARK.
i'm bloody jealous, i wanna die.

speaking of, i lost a friend on the 29th.
may you rest in peace, amin.