it's all about reading between the lines

fucking addicted to this.

2009-06-07T09:40:00.000-07:00

been putting my holidays to a good use, like bloody finally!
makes me wanna be a half Brazilian girl who lives in Bristol that snogs Italians guys on skateboards.

like this precious, right here.

addicted to this also.

currently anticipating this one. watching in on Youtube isn't satisfying.

2009-05-23T00:05:00.000-07:00

i want this fucking awesome haircut.
just not the length, it will be longer.

2009-05-18T13:33:00.000-07:00

so i'm on my 8 weeks holiday now.
survived the first week.
Barbie came down to Penang with her friends, and i politely crashed the party.
it was fun.
i also spent my entire allowence on dvds. imagine that.
i strained my neck because all i've been doing day & night is watch damn a lot of ANTM and movies.

anticipating Redang trip, i wish people could fucking chill and let me do my shit my way.
i am also on a quest to loose weight or rather get abs. it's not so abs-sy since i quit sports. =(
damn big sigh.
i'm a nocturnal and i want milk.

whales and me

2009-04-16T08:52:00.000-07:00

i am so lifeless.
so ignorant to the fact that my finals is in a week. i just studied 1 and a half chapters out of..oh i don't know. ten perhaps.
so i let my time go to waste FB-ing and YouTubing whales and kangaroos giving birth.
i love staring at other creatures delivering new life to this world, makes me feel calm and joyous in a way.
i even bookmarked national geographic: in the womb on my calendar.
9 pm this sunday people, GO WATCH!!!
why do i like new-borns?
perhaps to ignite my non-existance motherly instincts.
pppfft.
i might consider it.

oh, and i miss pot.
coz i feel like watching across the universe when im high.
and i sleep like a baby (seeeeee!)
yes, i am awesome.

God hates psychologists so i assume that i just throw my book in a bin. =D

=(

2009-03-17T09:17:00.000-07:00

SIGH SIGH SIGH.
what the hell.
hectic week okay.
i feel like swearing till my eyes bleed. i swear to God.
i feel like smoking and drinking till i OD-ed myself.
i feel like blasting my favourite songs and rocking on my air guitar.
i feel like making out with Jake Gyllenhaal.
i want new shoes. i want new shoes. i want new shoes.
i want to roll around in my pair of new imaginary shoes and my pretty Miss Selfidge dress.
i want to smoke lagi.
i want to be in OU looking at beautiful clothes, people and shoes and go to watch a fucking bimbo movie after.
i can't fucking wait for july and rain forest festival.
i can't fucking wait to kill my final exams.
i can't wait for the day that i am done with this shit hole and the shit people that this shit hole keeps.
i cant wait for thursday and semester break so that i can go jogging with Diana and my Mom.
i cant wait for my beach holidays with my friends and boyfriend.
i cant wait till i have proper InDesign and Adobe Photoshop in my computer so i can go fucking crazy editing pictures.
i cant wait to reformat my computer.
i cant wait for Europe.
i cant wait for my degree programme.
i cant wait to watch Bambi again and again.
i want effin new bands that play awesome songs.
i cant wait for the day that i get the vaccine for uterus cancer.
i cant wait for my hair to grow long,cover my boobs so i can be a mermaid.
i cant.. SIGH.
can i just die now?
i hate pests.
espacially in human form.

not you. i love you.
eat me.

2009-03-08T09:19:00.000-07:00

i'm at home.
i feel like a walking toxic. all the shit in my brain and system.

good stuff.
things i like:

cute dresses.

amazing hair.

photos like this.

mask. nice prints. black & white photos

this amazing girl.

simplicity

individuality

cameras.

and JOHN FRUSCIANTE.

his picture is not here because i am too lazy to google anymore.
=(

my neck hurts. ouch

aeroplane

2009-03-03T19:32:00.000-08:00

i get this wave of sadness everytime i see or think of an aeroplane.
i want to fly away from here and be with new people.
like today, i chocked back my tears.
my dreams are too far and wide.
i fear that i might not achieve it.
people like me rarely get the best of everything.
it's always people like... you, you and you.

tagged by zaid

2009-02-22T09:00:00.000-08:00

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.(To do this, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, then click publish.)

1. friends call me raihan/hani. old friends just call me raihan, new friends (the ones i made after leaving school) call me hani. i didnt come up with that name, it was my gay manager from sushi king.

2. family members call me something else. tak payah nak tau.

3. im thinking of interesting stuff to write in here.

4. i discovered that i have a deep voice when i was 16.

5. music. i love loads of genre. dont be suprised if i have daniel beddingfield in my ipod.

6.had a brother who passed away 7 years ago. i miss him all the time.

7. i can go on without a cigg for 5 days or more. or i can smoke 2 whole boxes of reds in one night.

8. coming from a tough childhood i feel like the shit that people give me now is manageable. ill cry and get pissed off for a night but ill get over it real fast.

9. i love going to the mall alone. that's where i get the good stuff.

10. i envy jasmine's sense of style.

11. im trying to work the high-waisted skirt i paid for a fortune. aint got the confidence to parade it around yet.

12. i dont call my dad 'daddy/papa/ayah/dad/*insert whatever kids call their dad here*. i call him "you".

13. im 89% like him. eventho i never live with him- ever.

14.been in an abusive relationship for 2 years. got fat after the break up. picked myself up, and now im with this amazing guy. thanks.

15. basically i bought a whole wardrobe in 2006 because i couldnt fit in my old clothes. my skinny clothes.

16. and now i can. =)

17. really big on piercings. i have 17 all togather.

18. used to be a gymnast for 10 years. i cant even split now without crying in pain.

19.i dont know how to bargain.

20. i panick easily. im 90% stressed out all the frickin time. for no good reason.

21.im always worried about my health but i dont take care of it.

22. i hate fast rides. cars/bikes/roller coasters.

23. not scared of any insect.

24.im messy and neat.

25.growing my hair for the first time in 21 years. ill stop once it covers my boobs.
haha.

i tag didie, sue, rashaad, hanna, and whoever's reading this

alice in designer gowns

2009-02-21T08:40:00.000-08:00

Natalia Vodianova captured as Alice from the Disney movie 'Alice in Wonderland' in Vogue (forgot which issue & country) 2004.
awesome shit coz i love the movie AND designer gowns.
what's neat about it is that it's an 8 spread pictures of her in various designer gowns posing with the designers themselves from famous scenes in the Disney movie. bitch.

john paul gaultier.
he's the cat.
haha

karl lagerfeld for chanel
i have no idea what his character in this but he's SO fierce!

christian lacroix.

marc jacobs-yum!

DIOR.
Galiano as the Queen of Hearts

finally!
my favourite- VERSACE.
good lord i feel like making love to this dress, don't you?

2009-02-11T19:29:00.000-08:00

right now i am in a state of confusion on who should i trust.
i've been betrayed by the people that i once believe to be my close friends.
i dont know what i say or did.
but they chose to treat me as their own personal joke.
it hurts. fuck, it really hurts.

RASHAAD'S "LOVE" NOTE TO ME

2009-01-24T05:01:00.000-08:00

peter pan is a kid who flies around in spandex carrying a knife the length of his weener who's only purpose in life is to annoy the living bejebus out of a vindictive man with a hook for a hand, all with a feather in his hat that matches his leotard.

nobody's cooler than peter pan.

homesickness is cancer

2009-01-15T19:18:00.000-08:00

i had maggi curry for breakfast.
why?
i'm lazy to eat anything else.
i spilled the frickin soup on my "giggles" shirt.
why?
coz i'm lazy as hell.
i'm still wearing the shirt and slurpping maggi at 11.20 am.
why?
i'm awesome like that

2009-01-12T22:27:00.000-08:00

ohmygod celcom is a bitch.
it's FUCKING SLOW I SWEAR IT'S MOVING BACKWARDS.
i need to do my frickin research and the time that i have is at night.
because the 3rd semester schedules are pack i sometimes cant remember anything BUT the assignments and deadlines and photo camp and what-nots.
damn ci**i!
i also feel deprived because i cant log in to facebook anytime that i want.
i wanna upload pictures- the one that i took with my new DSLR camera. *gloats*

i had a lovely weekend. =)
genting with my classmates & drinking session with his mates at night was unexpected and wild but it was SO fun i'm starting to love Africa.
haha.

babi-lah celcom!

2008-12-17T09:55:00.000-08:00

UITM IS A FUCKED UP DODGY INSTITUTION

2008-12-06T08:43:00.000-08:00

i can't. i cannot already, i tell you.
being happy for my friends that are living all around the world.
it fucking sucks, it sucks everything out of me i can feel it leaving my soul through my teeth. "it" means my confidence, my pride and my ego. FAAARK.
i'm bloody jealous, i wanna die.

speaking of, i lost a friend on the 29th.
may you rest in peace, amin.

2008-11-27T09:51:00.000-08:00

HE PASSED AWAY 7 YEARS AGO AND I JUST REALIZED IT NOW.
I DON'T LIKE TO THINK THAT I AM ABLE TO FORGET HIM, THINGS LIKE THIS YOU DON'T FORGET. YOU REMEMBER.

2008-11-04T03:59:00.000-08:00

i'm feeling ignored on cyber-space.
i want YOU to talk to me like we used to coz i miss you and i really wanna be with you if i can.
nah, scratch that.

it's the FUCKING EXAMS

and i need you, my loves

2008-11-01T05:03:00.000-07:00

i have to read 4 chapters of islamic civilization before monday.
and all i can think about is this.

aaand this.

can't wait to watch his new movies.

i hate final exams.

and all the lights that lead us there are blinding...

2008-09-21T02:20:00.000-07:00

nothing is falling into place.
the deadline is near, nothing is done, i think im having a major stroke.
i spent the whole weekend playing stupid and dumb. i watched tv, played shrek 2(sigh), and eat like i starved myself for a year.
so i decided to come back to this jungle a day earlier to finish my work. so far? NOTHING. poof.
big suprise.
i hate myself.
and boys.. sometimes, like. now!

that is me pretending to do my assignment while my cousin took a picture of me.
i like the Simpsons boxers. heh.

i spoke too soon. *reffering to the earlier post*

2008-08-26T08:44:00.000-07:00

after 1 glorious week of holidays i am finally back in malacca.
nothing much to tell except the moment i stepped foot in this jungle i've been rewarded with an eye infection. babii.

i procastinated throughout the week. got hell loads of assignments, i didnt do much. i spent half of my time in front of the tv watching olympics and fantasizing winning a gold medal. har har. other than that, i sleep.

fucking hell. mid-term is next week. i didnt study at all because i left all of my books here. boo-hoo.

whatever lah.

i want I 10!

hello goodbye!

2008-06-28T02:14:00.000-07:00

i'm so excited. the day is finally here!! i'm leaving for kL tonight bitches!!

i got a new iPod today. omg it's totally sexy, yummy and ahh i just wanna fuck it. haha. thanks mom.

as excited as i am i am quite sad to leave home. i'm gonna miss my mom & grandmom a lot.

i wonder i could pay someone to pack my things for me. i got loads to do before 9 pm and its already 5.30 wtf.

need to shave legs!!!!!!

2008-06-13T08:35:00.000-07:00

i can't hate paramore. they are just too good. hell with mainstream, wtf!

listening to anna nalick =D

2008-06-10T03:48:00.000-07:00

yeah ok. so now since my bedtime is 8 am and i normally wake up just before sunset, i am trying to find a more healthy way to kill my headspins. (nicotine just makes me sleepy & sick)T___T. i taught a nice laugh would help. these pictures are some that i took while i was at sufi's and shinaz's house. shame, they live 4 hours away..

WELCOME!

i peed in my pants during this photo session (pun intended)

we are ment for each other baybehh..

OPEN!!!

"sup bitch? you look hot"

star wars alien, much?

oooo. you got pretty eyes, shinzy!

i still love you, one-eye monster.

happy..

aku vain, wtf

fo shizzle, ma nizzle yo

??

done!

BME PAIN OLYMPICS

2008-06-08T11:09:00.000-07:00

I REALLY wanna watch it. too bad the link is dead. pls tell me when you guys find something.

2008-06-08T08:39:00.000-07:00

i feel like running around the streets naked. the dissapointing thing is i don't have anyone to do it with. i can't wait to go back to kL and act stupid again...

photobucket is being bitchy.

i'll upload funny pictures of me in the next entry.

holy shit!

2008-06-05T03:31:00.000-07:00

Petrol prices in Malaysia are expected to go up again because of the hike in crude oil prices worldwide
The Star published an article today warning us of our wallet’s impending doom.
Rumours are going around that the hike will actually take place again next month.

Time to buy a motorcycle!
How much do you think the price hike would be this time?

2008-06-04T09:43:00.000-07:00

kinda makes you wonder.. HOW THE HELL DO THEY MULTIPLY IF THEY ARE REAL???!!??

anyway, it's funny. ha ha ha

i love MKA.

2008-05-25T10:53:00.000-07:00

2008-05-25T01:26:00.000-07:00

i love you ANNA PAVLOVA!!!

i am so praying that she gets through to the Olympics and this time make sure she gets the medal that she deserves. unlike 4 years ago when that stick Khorkina stole it from her. actually i blame Petterson. even though i won't be able to watch her live on TV coz i'll be stuck in Lame Lendu that time i will pray for her during my uber boring classes.

pls pls pls LET HER FUCKING WIN!

no suprise

2008-05-22T07:29:00.000-07:00

DAVID COOK WON AMERICAN IDOL!!!

hell yeah!

2008-05-18T06:24:00.000-07:00

funny video.
you tube is like the closest thing to heaven.

2008-05-12T23:54:00.000-07:00

finals over and today will be my first day at home.
i feel empty...

pictures!!!

2008-04-12T08:14:00.000-07:00

so the university finally let me out. i'm currently at home for the study week. finals is on the 23rd. shit. haven't crack a single book. well, fuck it. i'm not here to blawg about my misery there. you people are aware of that.

anyways, i had my share of fun times there. here are some pictures to proove to u that UITM is not really a bad place to be.

my class. minus that creepy guy

that's sue & azza.

i call her DODO! =]

that was the most boring Friday night ever until we finally trashed the gym

my first outing with diana & sue. Dataran Pahlawan is so boring.

Sayy & I. violating a friend's camera.

computer class. =o

a photoshoot i did. beneath that smile, i was scared out of my knickers. i was sure that the place was full of snakes.

didie's hair look damn nice right?

people i miss- valentine 2007

so yeah. that's about it. darn, the house is sooooo boring good god!!

till next update. bye!

damn dirty fingers

2008-03-06T01:17:00.000-08:00

i noticed that all of my recent posts are about the shits that i am going through in campus. well, here's another one that i wanna add to my impressive pile of shits that i hate about uitm.

i cant bloody drive in and out of campus anymore coz of im in my first semester wtf. stupid guards practically molested me. yeah well she did. took me to the stinky toilet to strip me just to see if i got tatooes. and i thought she wanted to do a urine test, pppfft. silly me. argggghh.

i keep telling myself that i have to bare about everything here. i've got to so that i could leave this place and go to america to study photography or literature or journalism or pr or broadcasting or or or..... i haven't figure out what i wanna be yet but trust me i will as soon as i am done torturing myself here.

this year hasn't done much to me. apart from making me realize that i am a bigger loser than someone who doesnt care about anything other than getting pissed drunk or poking herself with needles... ah. life is cruel and unfair. bloody hell.

i think i wanna be anorexic.

oh well...

2008-01-16T23:07:00.001-08:00

for those who are reading, i hate you.
darn, you people are so lucky that your college are in the middle of the city. uitm is like, ppftt. in the middle of no where. grrr. the locals here are bloody scary. pervs and junkies mostly. gross.

at least my friends here are good. yerp. found some friends that can bare with me. amazing, i know.

im at the internet cafe currently. TRYING to look for materials for my assignment but heck, blogging is better. nyeh.

im going back to kL tomorrow. till sunday, i go back there EVERY WEEK. sorry if i didnt ring you guys.i just spend my weekend sleeping. and catching up on assignments ( yes, i have no life)
i do miss you guys. REALLY. jasmine, lord i miss talking to you and spamming your page. (talking as in in MSN). but whatrever,lets chill one day. i assume that you are busy too with your final semester and everything.

i have a nickname. its "mcr" because i wear my eyeliner as thick as possible. high five!

my first time on a brand new planet.

2008-01-08T22:58:00.000-08:00

all right. i waited for this goddamn thing to load for 15 minutes. i'm in the UiTM library coz i need to find materials for my Islamic Studies assignment. the rumours are true. the internet connection here sucks big time, my granny could have learn to do a cartwheel just by waiting for it to load. (pun intended)

my orientation week was HORRIBLE. it was shitty beyond compare. worst than camp. much much much worse. i cried myself to sleep everynight for 5 days. i was like, suicidal. sigh. i feel like a miracle after it was all over. i had 12 hours of sleep in 5 days. imagine how fugly i looked. no wait, don't imagine for your sake.

classes are okay so far. except for English. it's too bloody simple sort of like primary 1 english. hurm, more like kindergarten. i swear. my first homework was *gulp* filling in the blanks. haha. yeah, don't laugh. i hope that i won't be in there for long. i am anxious for the 'Placement Test' result. i think i'm better of with people in my own league. i sounds cocky and arrogant but i am not trying to be any of those. it's just so... insulting to be in that class. it's too backward for me and the others who are good in english.

oh. HAPPY NEW YEAR. i celebrated with Sufi <3. we went to Mont Kiara, drank while watching the performances. it was too noisy and boring so we left early. wayyyyyyy before the fireworks. we decided not to go to KL since it's gonna be too pack. finally, we decided to just watch the fireworks at the pool near his house. it was all right. i'm not a big fan of fireworks. it freaks me out.

i didn't make any resolution this year because i think it's all crap and bull. i still need to get use to the big 2 infront,everytime i mention my age. grrrr. horrible feeling!

i have absolute loads to tell you but typing in this library makes me feel uncomfartable. i feel like people are staring at me. i'll blog again once i am alone with my pc. (it's new & PINK) probably tomorrow since i'm going out with lya. might have a drink at starbucks. so anyway, you guys take care and be good.

xoxo

rain, i hate you.

2007-12-18T22:49:00.000-08:00

i can't stand the weather anymore. it's terrible. one minute it's sunny and the next thing you know it's all dark and gloomy, wtf. it's even worse up north where i live most of the time now days. i think Mother Nature has been horrible for nearly 2 months. it's annoying, it's depressing, it's gloomy and it makes me sick. (literally and figuratively). i know, i know. we are suppose to be thankful for whatever God's giving us. but still....

my grandmother's house is a full house again. everybody is here for Raya Haji. it's fun belive me but it gets chaotic after sometime. there's not enough space for some privacy. heck, i'm gonna miss it. i'll be leaving for uitm this sunday. trust me, thats the last place i wanna be. ever. i've finished packing thanks to my mom's constant nagging. i could not have done it without her.

so folks, i probably won't have time to update this blog, my friendster and my myspace. i'll online as much as i can. from what i heard, the internet connection in that campus if fucking crappy. wtf. wtf. wtf.

i know you guys are gonna miss me.

favourites.

2007-12-13T03:19:00.000-08:00

i'm a youtube junkie. i got bored and i was browsing it and i stumbled upon this clip. Thumbelina. one of my favourite childhood stories. i still have the tape somewhere in the house but it's broken. i love this song and the fairy prince is HOT, don't you think?

Thumbelina-let me be your wings. It's the same girl who gave her voice as Ariel from The Little Mermaid *my all time favourite old cartoon*

and i found this one too. i forgot how much i loved this movie.

The Swan Princess-this isn't my idea.

and.. this is my favourite picture of Gerard. haha. sorry, i'm still high from the concert.

my mom is loosing her hair. i don't know what to do.

i wanna make love to you, you, you.

2007-12-11T09:36:00.000-08:00

yes, you Gerard Way. i was crazy about you since "Helena". and after seeing you live, arggghhhh. no words. i'm like speechless. i love you.

right, and about 30 other million girls are thinking that about Gerard as we speak. but whatever. i can't help who i like. he's married anyway. bless him.

the concert was bad ass. ask anyone who went there. Jasmine and I waited in line for more than an hour. and it was raining so they gave us this cheap ass trash bag that's shaped like a raincoat. so i just use it. don't want to get sick before the show,no?

so after a million years they finally let us in. the mosh pit was already crowded when we reached there. it's free standing so we gotta push ourselves to the front as much as possible. we managed to stand at about 2 feet away from the bars. that's good enough until there's this crazy dinosaur pushed me to the side. and also this wacko white boy who's so pumped up i swear i just wanna feed him to the crocodiles. most of the people were so rude/violent/harsh/bitchy/loud/drunk. it took the fun out of me for a while. and somebody was NOT wearing deodorant. lord. thank God for the rain coz it would have been hell to be stuck in there until 10 pm.

so anyway, the opening acts were 'Love Me Butch' (did i get that right?) & 'Pop Shuvit'. we missed the LMB performance coz the line was mega-slow. ah, i don't care. i don't even know them. so after PS performed, we waited for quite a long time for the band to get on stage. and when they did, i went crazy. started screaming like a loser. the drummer Bob wasn't there. =/.

MCR layed every track in their ' Black Parade ' album except for the song 'Disenchanted'. and a few tracks from their 2nd album. i'm not sure if i remember all. hmmm. they sang Helena, I'm Not OK, Cemetry Drive, You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us in Prison. and a track that i'm not familiar with. they didn't sing The Ghost of You, unfortunately. but overall i give them 9/10. they were energetic, Gerard sounded amazing, they looked amazing and Ray's solo nearly give me an orgasm.lord i wish they played just a little longer.

after the concert we ate at McD near Ampang Park. i was soooooooooo hungry coz i couldn't eat anything before the concert. then, i went home, showered, got dressed and went out again with Sufi to Hartamas. i couldn't wipe that stupid grin on my face that night. coz i was so happy.

here are some pictures.

Jasmine & I. yerp. my "raincoat".

mosh pit.

pinky,jasmine,me and mel.

the drumb set. arghhh!!

Ray & Gerard.

here it is...

2007-12-03T20:30:00.000-08:00

Chanel - Coco Mademoiselle TV ads with Keira Knightley

a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank">

i want! i want!!
she's so pretty. gosh.

so i figure since it's December, and it's Christmas soon and all, i figure that i'll show you my "wish list". bahaha. here it goes..

CHANEL HOLLYWOOD NS HOBO

CHANEL ICON FLAP BAG.

GUCCI FLORAL HORSEBIT HOBO

LOUIS VUITTON XL

okay okay, so my demands this year is kinda high wtf. i can dream,can i? if i can't get those delicious looking bags, i'll love these dresses. cheap too. =]

SEQUINS BABY DOLL DRESS. *swoons*

JACQUARD DRESS

ONE SHOULDER DRESS.

I LOVE TOPSHOP. <3

i've had this in mind since 4 months ago...

SONY ERICSSON w580i.
-saving money for this but argh, i keep on using 'em to buy clothes. =/

and lastly, if i can't get any of the above. just PLEASE. take me to the cinema so i can watch this!

he is a barber in this movie. a murderer. coz some people killed his wife and children. that's why he changed his name to Sweeney Todd (cute).i didn't read everything. don't wanna spoil the fun coz i really really wanna watch it!!
wtf.

ah hell, wtf. i am going to the MY CHEMICAL ROAMNCE CONCERT.
my next post will be full with their pictures. ye haww.

i'm sick. not fever. my ears are blocked. i can't hear that well. stupid doctor. my hearing was FINE until he said that it's blocked and he gave me some ear drops. fuck, now it like, totally blocked. i went for medical checkup btw, for that stupid UITM which i'm gonna enter on 23rd. DECEMBER. ah, wtf. at least i'll be closer to sufi and i have my friends there in Melaka and i get to celebrate New Year there. (malacca? Kl? - not sure)

pls pray that i get better soon. with the ear thing. i'm going to kL in 2 days! my mom wont let me go if i'm still not okay. =[

oh and btw. HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY MUMMY! I LOVE YOU.her birthday was yesterday.